HOW MUCH LOVE IS ENOUGH?
My name is Vex. I am known as a guide on matters of the heart. Since you celebrate exhibits of love this month for Valentine, I felt it might be useful for us to talk about how much love is enough for you to feel loved? If you stop to think about it, it actually is an interesting question. How many times does it take to hear someone say they “love” you to soak that energy into your very soul and be enough to know for sure you are loved?
I guess it might be better to start with another question. Do you feel loved and how do you know you are loved? Of course, I am talking about your earthly version of love as you’ve been taught. From our view your version is filled with holes as it seems that your love can be taken away or dissolved.
The earthly version is limited in how far it can go because it’s built on actions and words. To accept love makes you vulnerable and you’ve all be hurt by others telling you this and then hurting you later. Let’s examine this together by looking at different ways of understanding love.
Do You Just Feel It?
What does it look and feel like to you when someone shows you they love you? In other words, how do you receive that version of love in you? Is it a warm feeling you have? Maybe you accept it through your thoughts. Or could you feel the need to reciprocate before you could even accept it? If you are a person who first accepts something through feelings, then this expression of love would be a feeling of some sort. Even with feelings often we see that surprise and gratitude show up as a response. Coming from that perspective means you would be clinging to that moment as if it was the last one and worried you might not get any more.
Skeptical- Are You Worth This Love?
If you are someone who likes to see “proof”, then you would be taking in love through your mind having some type of criteria. You do this to battle that self-doubt that always seems to be sitting there talking to you. If you have felt like you weren’t worth being loved, then you are accepting this love through some type of “hope” which allows this gift of love to touch you but then it seems to dissolve right in front of you. That’s because the presence of “holes” inside of you create such a strong feeling of love having to be earned it’s hard for you to hold onto it even when it shows up in a beautiful way. Usually, these types of perceptions don’t last which creates an even bigger hole inside.
Obviously how you interpret efforts when other people try and show they care does matter. Let’s see these “love efforts” like you are receiving a gift. It’s presented to you wrapped in gift wrapping. Does that excite you and bring up expectations or does it make you cautious since you’ve found that very few people can love the way you do? After all you don’t want to be disappointed if it’s not like your version. If you accept the gift and unwrap it, does it feel “real” to you? If so, then more than likely you would accept the intentions of the gift and bring them to your heart chakra.
Cautious-Been Hurt Before
If you feel cautious then you’ve been hurt before. That means you need to examine the gift first before you can accept it. You ask yourself questions like, “Is it real this time?” or “Are they manipulating you and what do they want in return”. When this happens as a response the essence of that gift sits there not being absorbed at all. This is you needing to logically think about it. I will share that sometimes that is a good thing when you are trying to learn how to get away from manipulators or people who enjoy hurting others.
What is the difference between feeling love and knowing love?
That is a very important question as it is very subjective for each of you. Everyone’s version of giving or sharing love differs because you each have your own experiences, hurts, disappointment, and criteria of what it should look and feel like. You can feel love and not be in love which happens when one person shows love their way and yet the other person is unable to take that step of receiving love which involves some sort of trust. There are times where your differences are so strong you just can’t connect and hold that connection long enough to develop the relationship.
So feeling loved can be conditional based on numerous things such as trust levels, similarities, and the personal criteria each person sets up for proof they are being loved. Humans look for this “perfect” love coming from another person who they feel connected with and feel they are accepted and not judged. The problem with that approach is somewhere in there EVERYONE has been hurt by others who say they love them. So trust has to be built and even then if the relationship needs to move on the trust is crushed.
So let’s go back to our initial question “How Much Love Is Enough?” Most of you have shared your love without even a thought. You just throw it out there especially when you feel a connection with someone. When you do that not only do you diminish your own well of love, but other people won’t necessarily even see it as love. That’s because you haven’t taken the time to try and see their version and because you tend to smother them with yours thinking that ensures it to last (doing too much).
I know that you are used to having one of us give you answers to life problems that you face. It’s not my job to do that today. Instead, I bring questions that I hope you will take some time to explore for yourself and come up with your own answers. Learn how to trust using your intuition. Learn how to share your version with limitations waiting for the other people to be ready for it. Learn how to hold love inside when it’s given. But most of all LEARN HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF first as that’s the only way you will find higher love.
One Source 